lately events...

re-learning to look forward in my life... is something I know yet new to me at this point of time.....

it has been long since I have learn to re-love myself..... though I have facials... those facials I went is for a purpose.... purpose to look beautiful?? >.< nope.... purpose of looking at my best during my friends' weddings..... this is call respect....

but back to the topic of re-learning to love myself...... I spoke to my good friend..... whom emphasized that I need to find a time for myself..... it is time for me to love myself..... most of my time I have devoted to work and my kids... indeed..... for a long long long time..... I did not have the chance to do things that I longed to do.... like having gatherings with my old friends..... I do not really have a chance...... to give up my duty during that time... was a tough decision.... coz to me.... work and duty have eat into my life.....and it was so bad that I could no longer recognize my own life or the things I longed to do..... in turn.... it was sad.... I lost my friends due to work ..... work stress..... and others.....

work stress.... something I did not know when did it started eating into my life..... and plus when I started my studies..... double stress...... all I know during that time.... was to work, study... nothing else...... I have lost directions.....and did not know what I can do during that time..... I could no longer tell others how I feel.... though it seems easy.... it is hard... coz simply.... adding stress to others is a no no.... this is how I view.... maybe I got bad experience in the past which taught me to keep things to myself and nothing else...... not saying that I cannot trust others..... yet.... what can I do?? adding more things to others?? hmm nope not in my dictionary..

anyway back to my first inital topic.... re-learning to love myself..... yes something I am working on in..... nowadays.... things have been starting to look better..... I finally could put all work down in my work place and head back home with stress free mind....and I would work the next day!! this is something I have achieved... well juz pray hard that I could keep up with this goal of mine ^^ and finding more other goals..... though at times I do wish to find back those things I have lost.... I know it is tough....