Unpredictable....

alot of things in life are unpredictable.... it happens when it is least expected.... and at times the events are so hurting yet willingly to go thru the events.... coz you know that the events are part and parcel of life......

at times... pple would think that it would be crazy to go thru the pain... and would even question is it worth the pain or is it worth the tears? I used to think in this manner... I could not understand why some pple are willing to go thru the struggle... yet ... lately... I began to see the light... and slowly begin to understand what others are going through....

Dreams.... goals.... whatever I used to desire... I have dropped it along my years of working... I've never desired to obtain those again.... yet I faced with a certain event.... which push me to re-think... shld I have the willpower to move forward again and re-find my true self? Would I be able to get my desired happiness?

I would say... thru out my years of living....I'm always been blessed by God and been loved by so many pple.... even now I'm truly blessed.... and I would say I have no regrets to live till this age...but I'm a greedy person whom tend to desire more out of the normal...this is something I need to learn... learning to let go....learning to desire less....learning to take things more lightly....maybe then I would live a much better life than now.... maybe learning to let go means learning to love...... at times holding too tightly would means causing pain to self and others...

I do not have much time now... I do not have much time to learn these.... I need to accept all these and learn it now before it gets too late.....And wish that after all these I would be a stronger person to handle events that might shake my world...rock my work or crush my world.... I'm working on it now...though I have to swallow down all my tears... I have to make it thru.... Crying alone is my only solution and console to myself...yet now I could not cry... and I cannot cry...coz crying is only means escaping from the pain temporary.... I would like to stop crying...and promise myself I would try my best not to cry in public again...never cry in front of others....crying is my only comfort....and getting out of my comfort zone is tough yet I still need to do it.....

hOliDays >.<

finally ^^ Holidays are here.... long waited break....

hmmm come to think of it.... my job does give me a break when i needed.... so though I met with challenges... I think it is worth the effort...coz I get to see my kids grow

anyway... this year... sigh I don't have much time to rest anyway.... coz I was given another job ^^ haha it is okie... well juz take it with a pinch of salt... and treat this as a different way to spend my holidays.... haha it is good for me ^^ coz at times... given too much a break.... I would be bored to death... haha not sure what can I do next before the school term starts.... and similar to the youngsters... would think why why the school term start without a blink

haha I guess this is human nature ^^ anyway would be using this holiday of mine to create more great memories and enjoyable moments.....