lately events...

re-learning to look forward in my life... is something I know yet new to me at this point of time.....

it has been long since I have learn to re-love myself..... though I have facials... those facials I went is for a purpose.... purpose to look beautiful?? >.< nope.... purpose of looking at my best during my friends' weddings..... this is call respect....

but back to the topic of re-learning to love myself...... I spoke to my good friend..... whom emphasized that I need to find a time for myself..... it is time for me to love myself..... most of my time I have devoted to work and my kids... indeed..... for a long long long time..... I did not have the chance to do things that I longed to do.... like having gatherings with my old friends..... I do not really have a chance...... to give up my duty during that time... was a tough decision.... coz to me.... work and duty have eat into my life.....and it was so bad that I could no longer recognize my own life or the things I longed to do..... in turn.... it was sad.... I lost my friends due to work ..... work stress..... and others.....

work stress.... something I did not know when did it started eating into my life..... and plus when I started my studies..... double stress...... all I know during that time.... was to work, study... nothing else...... I have lost directions.....and did not know what I can do during that time..... I could no longer tell others how I feel.... though it seems easy.... it is hard... coz simply.... adding stress to others is a no no.... this is how I view.... maybe I got bad experience in the past which taught me to keep things to myself and nothing else...... not saying that I cannot trust others..... yet.... what can I do?? adding more things to others?? hmm nope not in my dictionary..

anyway back to my first inital topic.... re-learning to love myself..... yes something I am working on in..... nowadays.... things have been starting to look better..... I finally could put all work down in my work place and head back home with stress free mind....and I would work the next day!! this is something I have achieved... well juz pray hard that I could keep up with this goal of mine ^^ and finding more other goals..... though at times I do wish to find back those things I have lost.... I know it is tough....

=.="

lately events.... have stirred storms in my gloomy days.....

though looking forward towards embracing an new lease of life ..... things juz came and blurred my vision.....

why it happened in this manner?? why they could not cope with the rules and regulations?? I have my duty and job to fufill.... yet they have completely misunderstood and become more and more defiant...... what can I do now?? I really at lost......

CNY is coming.......yet I do not have the mood to celebrate it......... ask me why......... I also not sure..... juz that if I can......... I would take off from here and go travelling........ but can I do that?? the answer is a confirmed NO........ certain events.....came and affected me....... how to relate back to them??? I do not know how........ juz it be??? will the problem be gone?? I also not sure......

anyway....... "raindrops keeping falling upon my head........."