hmm.... today is Sports Day ^^
and I'm glad to see abt 12~13 students from my class... oh well.... out of 33.. I have 12~13... others may think that I'm mad to think that I'm glad...
but truly I'm really happy that things turn out fine and well....well I'm glad to see most of my students.... right now really truly worried abt their upcoming exams...
well vinoth... He told me that he does not really appreciate for the fact that I broke down and cried for such a stupid reason....but he's appreicated my concern towards him ^^ well it made my day ^^ truly felt very happy abt that...
and I muz admitted that I'm dead worried abt all my students....and not for my sake.... yet for theirs.... though some may think that I'm lying... it is okie for them to think in this way...
I'm happy if they managed to pass their exams...and found their pathway to their future ^^
and that would the kind of happiness I'm seeking for ...
another kind of happiness filled me up ^^......
haha well it was last sat ^^... I went out with my grp of friends.... ar.... finally I get to see them especially Chaveil ^^ hahaha... what crazy time we had.... haha though it was up till evening.... I managed to speak to most of them ^^ haha really really enjoyed that ^^ and hope to see them soon.....er provided I can finished marking my upcoming exam papers ^^
I'm wishing for my happiness to continue to stay with me.....
Monday, April 20, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Movie- Departures
Hmm last sunday, my friends and I decided to catch a film... name "Departures" ... initially I thought it was a film regarding air flights.... who knows... it was about pple working like the deathkeeper... they are a group of pple who help to clean the dead bodies and dressed them as beautiful as possible, before they are burned to ashes....
ah...interesting film I would say.... it gave pple many different views to think abt their lives... their values...
hahaha... another show which made me cried so much... that in the end I gave up using tissues... coz I think it would be a waste of tissues ^^ so I juz continued to cry and cry... crying...yes it did release part of my stress... and bring me back to life... it brings me back to this mother earth once again.... it makes me feel so good.....
I cried due to sadness.... especially when the living are grateful to them for helping their dead partners to look pretty before they truly end their lives.... and they are able to keep their beautiful looks in eternal memory.... ya indeed... it brought me back to my last look at my grandmother.... I regretted that I did not see her for the last time.... and I cried so hard coz in that film, others had the chance to see their dead partner for the last time...and it makes me realize that I never have that chance again... never ever see my grandmother again.... and this makes me feel so so sad... fill with sorrow... regrets....but what can I do now??
then when the last part of the film.... whereby the main lead found his dad....and dead... he was willing to clean his father...though he hated his father for leaving him and his mother for another women for the past 30 years... he kept cleaning... clean his face....and slowly it brought back the fond memories...and his memory of his father.... and that is when I broke down.... I truly broke down.... the kind of love that the son held for his father was strong and hid deep down in his heart... the intense love that he had... made me realize that I was not that strong.... nope I was not a strong person who can accept this.... but yet with this realization I would try to be stronger and worked towards creating a better living place for my family...and love them more than ever... this film brings back the human part of me....a part which was lost during the midst of my studies...yet it does bring back the anxiety part of me too.... now i am very worried abt tons of things....sigh...
but i would strongly recommend this film... it was worth watching ^^
ah...interesting film I would say.... it gave pple many different views to think abt their lives... their values...
hahaha... another show which made me cried so much... that in the end I gave up using tissues... coz I think it would be a waste of tissues ^^ so I juz continued to cry and cry... crying...yes it did release part of my stress... and bring me back to life... it brings me back to this mother earth once again.... it makes me feel so good.....
I cried due to sadness.... especially when the living are grateful to them for helping their dead partners to look pretty before they truly end their lives.... and they are able to keep their beautiful looks in eternal memory.... ya indeed... it brought me back to my last look at my grandmother.... I regretted that I did not see her for the last time.... and I cried so hard coz in that film, others had the chance to see their dead partner for the last time...and it makes me realize that I never have that chance again... never ever see my grandmother again.... and this makes me feel so so sad... fill with sorrow... regrets....but what can I do now??
then when the last part of the film.... whereby the main lead found his dad....and dead... he was willing to clean his father...though he hated his father for leaving him and his mother for another women for the past 30 years... he kept cleaning... clean his face....and slowly it brought back the fond memories...and his memory of his father.... and that is when I broke down.... I truly broke down.... the kind of love that the son held for his father was strong and hid deep down in his heart... the intense love that he had... made me realize that I was not that strong.... nope I was not a strong person who can accept this.... but yet with this realization I would try to be stronger and worked towards creating a better living place for my family...and love them more than ever... this film brings back the human part of me....a part which was lost during the midst of my studies...yet it does bring back the anxiety part of me too.... now i am very worried abt tons of things....sigh...
but i would strongly recommend this film... it was worth watching ^^
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
it is blessings afterall
I was worried... I've that irky feeling since morning 4am today... I could not sleep again... I woke up and stare at the ceiling....
My father had weird feelings too... but none of us could figure out what is that....and wished I could know what is that at that point of time.... and something could be save .......
anyway.... around 7plus... my dad came back after sending my younger brother to army.... strange... he should be on his way to work.... how come??
after which.... he told my mom and me..... he met with car accident.... his car rear was badly damage....though still can drive.... I was shocked.... shaken.... yet I could not express that to my father.... all we can do was to ask my dad.... did he suffer from any bumps or any scratches.... anyway sent him to see doc...... lucky thing... it is over.... only physical damages to the car...
out of the sudden.... death once again came upon to my life.... though it is not the real thing.... and I could not think of the real thing happening to my family members.... sigh... thought that I had been suffering from diarrhoea for 4 days was bad enough... never I knew I would receive such news.... I was mentally and physically torn...
living with no regrets is my motto....yet for that instant I do have regrets.... regrets that I yet have the chance to travel with my parents since I worked as a teacher..... my working time schedule is tight.... and so difficult to arrange the correct timing for all..... but no more.... I would arrange trips to other countries with my parents.... bringing them to see the world.... all I wanna is my family members are happy .... I would be happy.... so though the horrible news came to me... it is a blessings afterall.... as I do get another chance to arrange events to make my family members happy especially my parents....
Parents are the greatest in the world... family members should be loved, so do try to spend quality time with your family members and do not impose too many things on them.... living together should be filled with funs and laughters.... and not asking them to achieve something that they could not achieve.... my parents never once pressurize me... all they said is "just do your best" and due to that... I have lived my life to the fullest till now... and would continue to live my life to the fullest together with my family members =)
My father had weird feelings too... but none of us could figure out what is that....and wished I could know what is that at that point of time.... and something could be save .......
anyway.... around 7plus... my dad came back after sending my younger brother to army.... strange... he should be on his way to work.... how come??
after which.... he told my mom and me..... he met with car accident.... his car rear was badly damage....though still can drive.... I was shocked.... shaken.... yet I could not express that to my father.... all we can do was to ask my dad.... did he suffer from any bumps or any scratches.... anyway sent him to see doc...... lucky thing... it is over.... only physical damages to the car...
out of the sudden.... death once again came upon to my life.... though it is not the real thing.... and I could not think of the real thing happening to my family members.... sigh... thought that I had been suffering from diarrhoea for 4 days was bad enough... never I knew I would receive such news.... I was mentally and physically torn...
living with no regrets is my motto....yet for that instant I do have regrets.... regrets that I yet have the chance to travel with my parents since I worked as a teacher..... my working time schedule is tight.... and so difficult to arrange the correct timing for all..... but no more.... I would arrange trips to other countries with my parents.... bringing them to see the world.... all I wanna is my family members are happy .... I would be happy.... so though the horrible news came to me... it is a blessings afterall.... as I do get another chance to arrange events to make my family members happy especially my parents....
Parents are the greatest in the world... family members should be loved, so do try to spend quality time with your family members and do not impose too many things on them.... living together should be filled with funs and laughters.... and not asking them to achieve something that they could not achieve.... my parents never once pressurize me... all they said is "just do your best" and due to that... I have lived my life to the fullest till now... and would continue to live my life to the fullest together with my family members =)
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Enough is Enough
I'm depressed... really depressed....
depression has set in.... and could not run away from the harsh reality....have been depressed since the 2nd week of school term.... since the day I faced my class.... when I heard so many things about them.... and worried that I could not support them throughout the whole entire sec 3 journey.... thus... depression set in.... depressed, worries..... could not run away.....
though depressed.... I do have kids who are there to support me through their lovely smiles, cranky jokes etc.... they are very very lovely kids.... pple like shu zhuang, zhi xiang, elwyn, fu qi, khairul, cindy, yung fung, tiong en and many more....
they are the ones who bring light and lighten my burden..... especially zhi xiang and elwyn.... initally they are the big bosses..... making noises, do not come to school regularly... yet now.... they are the ones who gain back the trust of others... they have been praised by others!! and this is the best gift in my life.... to know kids who are willing to give a try and build miracles... and I do wish that they could continue this hard work... and I would try my best to see all my kids thru sec 4.... and graduate together....
but there are pple in my class.... whom I could not reach out.... really cannot reach to them... I'm defeated badly in the battle... or have I not listen to their voices properly? have I not ask the correct questions to allow them to reach back to me?? I really don't know.... take an example... damien... a smart chap...yet he is one of my worries.... as I could not understand him at all.... I wanna to understand him yet I failed to do so.... I have failed badly as his FT, after 2 years and upcoming third year... I still don't understand him at all..... and there are too many pple in my class whom I do not have a personal touch with... thus I could not understand their thoughts and feelings...
Or am I the one enclosing my feelings... closing my doors?? or are they the ones who are building the great wall of China?? Who are the one responsible for the walls? for the barriers??
I'm depressed.... super depressed.... so bad till I wanna to hibernate..... hide to a hidden dungeon and rot my life there..... wahhhahaha.... sound cool and great.... why am I so depressed?? simple.... depressed over the fact that I actually losing patience and passion over my class... I do not used to have such feelings... I do not like such feelings.... how can I have such thoughts and feelings.... this is very very very bad.... I have creepy nightmares... I have not slept well since the 2nd week of school term.... sleeping and waking up in cold sweat... I kept falling into the black pit-hole... I do not like the feeling of losing passion... would I be able to love my kids more than ever?? I do not wanna them to suffer juz due to my depression....
would I be able to escape the blackhole???
depression has set in.... and could not run away from the harsh reality....have been depressed since the 2nd week of school term.... since the day I faced my class.... when I heard so many things about them.... and worried that I could not support them throughout the whole entire sec 3 journey.... thus... depression set in.... depressed, worries..... could not run away.....
though depressed.... I do have kids who are there to support me through their lovely smiles, cranky jokes etc.... they are very very lovely kids.... pple like shu zhuang, zhi xiang, elwyn, fu qi, khairul, cindy, yung fung, tiong en and many more....
they are the ones who bring light and lighten my burden..... especially zhi xiang and elwyn.... initally they are the big bosses..... making noises, do not come to school regularly... yet now.... they are the ones who gain back the trust of others... they have been praised by others!! and this is the best gift in my life.... to know kids who are willing to give a try and build miracles... and I do wish that they could continue this hard work... and I would try my best to see all my kids thru sec 4.... and graduate together....
but there are pple in my class.... whom I could not reach out.... really cannot reach to them... I'm defeated badly in the battle... or have I not listen to their voices properly? have I not ask the correct questions to allow them to reach back to me?? I really don't know.... take an example... damien... a smart chap...yet he is one of my worries.... as I could not understand him at all.... I wanna to understand him yet I failed to do so.... I have failed badly as his FT, after 2 years and upcoming third year... I still don't understand him at all..... and there are too many pple in my class whom I do not have a personal touch with... thus I could not understand their thoughts and feelings...
Or am I the one enclosing my feelings... closing my doors?? or are they the ones who are building the great wall of China?? Who are the one responsible for the walls? for the barriers??
I'm depressed.... super depressed.... so bad till I wanna to hibernate..... hide to a hidden dungeon and rot my life there..... wahhhahaha.... sound cool and great.... why am I so depressed?? simple.... depressed over the fact that I actually losing patience and passion over my class... I do not used to have such feelings... I do not like such feelings.... how can I have such thoughts and feelings.... this is very very very bad.... I have creepy nightmares... I have not slept well since the 2nd week of school term.... sleeping and waking up in cold sweat... I kept falling into the black pit-hole... I do not like the feeling of losing passion... would I be able to love my kids more than ever?? I do not wanna them to suffer juz due to my depression....
would I be able to escape the blackhole???
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Fractured LIttle Finger --- went to eat to distress!!
OMG....
see how cute is the ice-cream =p hehehe I simply loved desserts!! who makes me happy all the time.... desserts are the one!! kekeke well I'm asking my friends to hang out with me for the next makan time, heading for desserts shop!! hahaha
unable to believe this would happen to me!!
Juz a simple dine out with my family members.....seeing my baby niece.... who knows....
anyway.... I was juz unlucky and there goes my little finger.... hairline fracture.... so still not as bad lah....
so in the end....I called my friends and dated them out to have a good meal with me... so I was so upset and unhappy that such events fall on me....
wahhh.... today went to KUISHIN-BO!! yippie =p and today is Ladies' Nite....so much cheaper than ever...
yummy!! all the food stuffs are so good.... esp the ice -cream.... hehehe look at me... I'm in cloud nine after eating the ice-cream =p
So even with my little pinky is injuried.... with the creamy nice orange ice-cream in my hands... ahhh... that is call happiness =p I can forget abt the pain
see how cute is the ice-cream =p hehehe I simply loved desserts!! who makes me happy all the time.... desserts are the one!! kekeke well I'm asking my friends to hang out with me for the next makan time, heading for desserts shop!! hahaha
well... this restaurant serves good food.... so even pple like me...with injuried pinky.... still be happy in the end...haha but... my little pinky!! I would need to go for 2nd check up for my little pinky.... so see what the pinky is recovering well!!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Failing Sick....
Sigh Thought that things are heading fine... lately having dizzy spells and throat pain....
think I'm falling sick... oh my gosh...
but today I'm extremely happy and proud... though I kept reminding and worried that my kids would forget to bring their thermometers especially I'm outstationed for conference... most of them brought theirs!! wow Great job =p
this is one happy news to me... =p
but it does not stop me from having dizzy spells and falling sick... thought of asking my other kids to come over for dinner...yet today I'm really very tired and sick... falling sick... keep coughing and feel like vomitting... then having flu.... oh great... to make things worse... I still have my studies and I need to complete my assignments soon.... deadline is coming!!
think I'm falling sick... oh my gosh...
but today I'm extremely happy and proud... though I kept reminding and worried that my kids would forget to bring their thermometers especially I'm outstationed for conference... most of them brought theirs!! wow Great job =p
this is one happy news to me... =p
but it does not stop me from having dizzy spells and falling sick... thought of asking my other kids to come over for dinner...yet today I'm really very tired and sick... falling sick... keep coughing and feel like vomitting... then having flu.... oh great... to make things worse... I still have my studies and I need to complete my assignments soon.... deadline is coming!!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Finally it is done!!
OMG!!
Seriously... I never wanna to build a blog from scratch... but after my current form class 3N3.. they managed to build one... haha it makes me wanna to do it on my own...
but OMG!! hmm is it me getting old or they are simply too great with blogging?? I finally have done up my new blog... phew what a tiring thing to do...especially I was not in a good health state... sigh kanna tummy upset...so was visiting the toilet and doing the blog at the same time!!
Oh well...finally it is done... so not that bad...
Seriously... I never wanna to build a blog from scratch... but after my current form class 3N3.. they managed to build one... haha it makes me wanna to do it on my own...
but OMG!! hmm is it me getting old or they are simply too great with blogging?? I finally have done up my new blog... phew what a tiring thing to do...especially I was not in a good health state... sigh kanna tummy upset...so was visiting the toilet and doing the blog at the same time!!
Oh well...finally it is done... so not that bad...
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