last nite..... had a weird dream.......
the sudden downpour caused massive flooding around me...... i saw pple running around..... i was in the midst of doing work........ then i called out to the pple around me to run towards the shelter...... and the erosion was so bad that most of the earth were eroded away by the rain..... there was a whirpool..... but lucky we were not affected though it drew near to us....
our belongings were slowly swiped away by the water..... i shouted out to pple to grab our stuffs..... i was sucked into the eroded earthern.... threw the stuffs away and quickly put myself out and ran to a safe envt..... i called out to others to keep digging to another safe place... pple were crying..... shaken..... dazed....... my voices could not reached them.......
i found myself witnessing the flood came rushing into the building........and lost to it................
so what does this dream mean??
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
no more.......
things are piling up yet i still trying to pull off by meeting the deadlines....
and i'm stressed out....totally stressed out and drained......
yet i would be facing more challenges and work ahead and meeting tons of deadlines........
if only i could choose....... i would choose.............
but it would be irresponsible of my own actions............
the more i tried to safe guard my loved ones feelings........ i hurt them and that the last thing in my mind........ i faced cases like this..........and turned out that things gone haywired ......... but at least i learnt something from there.........
it is so easy to tell others.....hey juz talk it out to others.........and u feel better..........
but it is so difficult for pple like me.......... i'm not expressive and i tend to keep on talking abt it and this make pple feel so sick abt it.............. and my job?? why pple tends to put labels onto me......... and it is making me feeling breathless..... feeling lost..... feeling frustrated........feeling so bottled........... what can i do........
i have no means of ways to tell pple........ when i try to tell others how i feel........ things would be cut off....... maybe this is it...... i shld have learn to listen even more than talking....
so no more talking....... no more talking .........
and i'm stressed out....totally stressed out and drained......
yet i would be facing more challenges and work ahead and meeting tons of deadlines........
if only i could choose....... i would choose.............
but it would be irresponsible of my own actions............
the more i tried to safe guard my loved ones feelings........ i hurt them and that the last thing in my mind........ i faced cases like this..........and turned out that things gone haywired ......... but at least i learnt something from there.........
it is so easy to tell others.....hey juz talk it out to others.........and u feel better..........
but it is so difficult for pple like me.......... i'm not expressive and i tend to keep on talking abt it and this make pple feel so sick abt it.............. and my job?? why pple tends to put labels onto me......... and it is making me feeling breathless..... feeling lost..... feeling frustrated........feeling so bottled........... what can i do........
i have no means of ways to tell pple........ when i try to tell others how i feel........ things would be cut off....... maybe this is it...... i shld have learn to listen even more than talking....
so no more talking....... no more talking .........
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Linking depression with SAW movies
done with watching SAW series.... finally... praying hard that there's no more series if not there's no link to this serial killing anymore
well......it is fate that brought me to this series......it goes like this.....
this particular person is way too smart for anyone...and able to think way further than anyone else.... which is highly possible..... anyway he went on a killing spree after he found out that he got cancer and he wanted others to sort of making redemption/ repent on the things they have done in the past.... so he choose pple that he came across and those he deemed as bad person...by giving them a choice.... choose to live by hurting self/ others or choose to die...
this movie brought so many negative energy around...... to others it might be juz a movie which depicts killing...depicts psycho killer...... yet to me it is not......
it is more than juz that..... well can say i think too much or relate too much but this is what i see from the movies.....
it is saddening to watch this series..... though killing initially is bloody, distasteful...... so ugly.... look beyond the killing..... look beyond the blood....look beyond everything.... don't let such distasteful sight destroy the main concept of this story
pple are tied to chains....on the edge on dying.... they are screaming for help... this is similar to cases of depressions.... those pple who suffered from depressions are similar to this series.....
pple who suffered from depression.... some of them can identify some don't..... and all of them are tied down to chains... and these chains are locking them tight down.....
depression is like razor blades cutting their flesh..... painful yet not deadly.... unless left to bleed to its death... there are many pple who commit suicide due to depression..... in the movie... the pple are screaming for help yet in vain.... trying to find a way to survive thru the painful ordeal.... this is the true facts of life..... pple are screaming for help..... yet how many pple would be able to know.....
juz like in the movie.... all of the victims are locked in rooms which no one knows... this is the same.... pple suffering from depression....... they are locked in their own world with no clear marked exits.....no one can hear their screams..... it is not that they are not screaming yet their screams have been sealed off..... their ability to scream for help has been sealed for a moment... if they are strong enough..... and fast enough.... they would be able to fight back..... some pple are more fortunate...... coz they have been found by others and been saved by others.... then after which they found a new leash of life.......
but a twisted fact in this movie....which is also kinda true.... some pple may deemed to be freed and saved themselves and worked for the killer..... then in the end.... they would be killed..... this is the harsh reality for some pple..... there are cases whereby pple are on the road to recovery yet in the end.... they are been hit down by harsh reality once again and it dampened them further into the pithole.....and on the surface they deemed to be enjoying.... deemed to be living well.... but their emotional wellness are not......they are suffering yet no one knows.... and some of them have been marked by others stating that they shld have recovered or they shld not be suffering from it blah blah..... come to think again..... all of us are humans and we are bound by emotional ties....and we cannot escape from it.... and severity of the damage depends besides on the person who is suffering and the pple ard them...... whether there're support for them....
if not .... this would be forever silent screaming.........
well......it is fate that brought me to this series......it goes like this.....
this particular person is way too smart for anyone...and able to think way further than anyone else.... which is highly possible..... anyway he went on a killing spree after he found out that he got cancer and he wanted others to sort of making redemption/ repent on the things they have done in the past.... so he choose pple that he came across and those he deemed as bad person...by giving them a choice.... choose to live by hurting self/ others or choose to die...
this movie brought so many negative energy around...... to others it might be juz a movie which depicts killing...depicts psycho killer...... yet to me it is not......
it is more than juz that..... well can say i think too much or relate too much but this is what i see from the movies.....
it is saddening to watch this series..... though killing initially is bloody, distasteful...... so ugly.... look beyond the killing..... look beyond the blood....look beyond everything.... don't let such distasteful sight destroy the main concept of this story
pple are tied to chains....on the edge on dying.... they are screaming for help... this is similar to cases of depressions.... those pple who suffered from depressions are similar to this series.....
pple who suffered from depression.... some of them can identify some don't..... and all of them are tied down to chains... and these chains are locking them tight down.....
depression is like razor blades cutting their flesh..... painful yet not deadly.... unless left to bleed to its death... there are many pple who commit suicide due to depression..... in the movie... the pple are screaming for help yet in vain.... trying to find a way to survive thru the painful ordeal.... this is the true facts of life..... pple are screaming for help..... yet how many pple would be able to know.....
juz like in the movie.... all of the victims are locked in rooms which no one knows... this is the same.... pple suffering from depression....... they are locked in their own world with no clear marked exits.....no one can hear their screams..... it is not that they are not screaming yet their screams have been sealed off..... their ability to scream for help has been sealed for a moment... if they are strong enough..... and fast enough.... they would be able to fight back..... some pple are more fortunate...... coz they have been found by others and been saved by others.... then after which they found a new leash of life.......
but a twisted fact in this movie....which is also kinda true.... some pple may deemed to be freed and saved themselves and worked for the killer..... then in the end.... they would be killed..... this is the harsh reality for some pple..... there are cases whereby pple are on the road to recovery yet in the end.... they are been hit down by harsh reality once again and it dampened them further into the pithole.....and on the surface they deemed to be enjoying.... deemed to be living well.... but their emotional wellness are not......they are suffering yet no one knows.... and some of them have been marked by others stating that they shld have recovered or they shld not be suffering from it blah blah..... come to think again..... all of us are humans and we are bound by emotional ties....and we cannot escape from it.... and severity of the damage depends besides on the person who is suffering and the pple ard them...... whether there're support for them....
if not .... this would be forever silent screaming.........
Friday, November 6, 2009
sigh....
ever wonder have the things that i am working on for so long have been affecting my whole life?? i never given a thought to it.... till lately....
and re-considering the things i am going to do in the near future... would it further affect my life?? i seriously have no confidence in it.. coz it is difficult to say.... i am worried yet not willing to give up to do the things i loved so much... would i be able to find the inner peace to get it done??
judging from the things i saw.... i heard.... i guess i have to move on and fast.... time to let it go
letting my anxiety get it to me.... so be it... at least i have another direction i can move on.....
allow me to pray hard that i can find my own place, my directions, my purpose in life fast
and re-considering the things i am going to do in the near future... would it further affect my life?? i seriously have no confidence in it.. coz it is difficult to say.... i am worried yet not willing to give up to do the things i loved so much... would i be able to find the inner peace to get it done??
judging from the things i saw.... i heard.... i guess i have to move on and fast.... time to let it go
letting my anxiety get it to me.... so be it... at least i have another direction i can move on.....
allow me to pray hard that i can find my own place, my directions, my purpose in life fast
Friday, September 25, 2009
District 9
hmmm it has been a long time since I've written anything on my blog....
well many things have changed and shifted ^^ for the better or worst... this is something that no one knows..... till the day comes... so juz get on with living and be happy.....
hmmm welll went to watch DISTRICT 9 .... juz before the show was about to be removed from screening...
seriously.... I don't really wish to watch this show at the initial stage.... then went online to see the reviews.... and of coz my guy wanna to watch the show... so as his girl.... I went ahead to watch that show....
well... to my surprise.... though I did not know who are those artistes...the show was worth watching... alot of discussion points found in this show.... aliens found in mother earth...... and they had been living in this planet named EARTH for 2 decades....
anyway I would not comment on the story... yet on what I have gotta from the show.. racial discrimination.... hahaha.. ya of coz this is the main component of the movie!!.....
coz aliens are considered as other races.....and thru the flim... the producers wanna us to understand that racial discrimination.... and other sorts of discrimination....are creating massive problems..... well these are the harsh facts of life.... yet how many pple would agree upon and act on it... with so many world crisis at hand.... would pple be able to understand the need to leave in peaceful envt?
tough.... i guess... coz most of the pple are blinded by the immediate/ present situation.... and would not be able to take a step back to reflect what has happened along the way... not many pple are able to that... and it is very saddening....
well many things have changed and shifted ^^ for the better or worst... this is something that no one knows..... till the day comes... so juz get on with living and be happy.....
hmmm welll went to watch DISTRICT 9 .... juz before the show was about to be removed from screening...
seriously.... I don't really wish to watch this show at the initial stage.... then went online to see the reviews.... and of coz my guy wanna to watch the show... so as his girl.... I went ahead to watch that show....
well... to my surprise.... though I did not know who are those artistes...the show was worth watching... alot of discussion points found in this show.... aliens found in mother earth...... and they had been living in this planet named EARTH for 2 decades....
anyway I would not comment on the story... yet on what I have gotta from the show.. racial discrimination.... hahaha.. ya of coz this is the main component of the movie!!.....
coz aliens are considered as other races.....and thru the flim... the producers wanna us to understand that racial discrimination.... and other sorts of discrimination....are creating massive problems..... well these are the harsh facts of life.... yet how many pple would agree upon and act on it... with so many world crisis at hand.... would pple be able to understand the need to leave in peaceful envt?
tough.... i guess... coz most of the pple are blinded by the immediate/ present situation.... and would not be able to take a step back to reflect what has happened along the way... not many pple are able to that... and it is very saddening....
Sunday, July 12, 2009
The House on the Left
Hmm ... yesterday managed to catch a show title "the house on the Left"
hmm okie this time round... I really admitted that I am growing old.... coz last time when I watch such bloody movies....horror movies..... ar.... I was not even blinked or scared.... omg!! yesterday that show was a killer to my tummy.....
hmm or shld i put in this way.... when you read the title.... probably you have guess what kind of show you would be watching.....and in the end you would be fully prepared for it....... but not yesterday that movie....
this movie has yet show in Singapore..... well.... not sure which cat. this movie would be in.... apparently in Malaysia.... it is rated as 18PL ...... well I shld not write abt the movie..... coz this is not a movie review ^^
well I would say after watching this movie..... anyway this movie is a re-make movie which first shown in 1972....... this movie indicated a key point to the audience..... hahaha not too sure whether this is director's main key point >.<
anyway after watching this show.... it brought sense to me........ normal human beings are capable of doing alot of things including a weak young lady.... powerless in every situation....... yet for survival .......even the little lady is able to fight her way thru despite all the pain, shame...... all she wanna is to survived and be with her loved ones...
yes indeed ...... to be with our loved ones is crucial..... and almost critical to me...... it did set me thinking...... if I am the one who faced such harsh situation...... would I be able to fight like the young lady and fought my way thru juz to stay alive for my loved ones....... never thought it ..... lol....but after watching this show...... it does indicate 1 thing to me..... I need to spend more time with my loved ones and creating memories with them..... as memories would be the key to memorial of one.......
hmm okie this time round... I really admitted that I am growing old.... coz last time when I watch such bloody movies....horror movies..... ar.... I was not even blinked or scared.... omg!! yesterday that show was a killer to my tummy.....
hmm or shld i put in this way.... when you read the title.... probably you have guess what kind of show you would be watching.....and in the end you would be fully prepared for it....... but not yesterday that movie....
this movie has yet show in Singapore..... well.... not sure which cat. this movie would be in.... apparently in Malaysia.... it is rated as 18PL ...... well I shld not write abt the movie..... coz this is not a movie review ^^
well I would say after watching this movie..... anyway this movie is a re-make movie which first shown in 1972....... this movie indicated a key point to the audience..... hahaha not too sure whether this is director's main key point >.<
anyway after watching this show.... it brought sense to me........ normal human beings are capable of doing alot of things including a weak young lady.... powerless in every situation....... yet for survival .......even the little lady is able to fight her way thru despite all the pain, shame...... all she wanna is to survived and be with her loved ones...
yes indeed ...... to be with our loved ones is crucial..... and almost critical to me...... it did set me thinking...... if I am the one who faced such harsh situation...... would I be able to fight like the young lady and fought my way thru juz to stay alive for my loved ones....... never thought it ..... lol....but after watching this show...... it does indicate 1 thing to me..... I need to spend more time with my loved ones and creating memories with them..... as memories would be the key to memorial of one.......
Monday, July 6, 2009
Prone to Injuries...
sigh.... not the first time... but I juz simply too clumsy haha....
well this time round even better.... used to injured my left ankle when i was around 12.... it was my first time to suffer in pain yet I treated it as nothing... ar yet endured the pain.... I remembered what my parents said, what my teachers said before... if you can endure thru the pain... you could endure thru your life....
er well.... it is true to certain extend... but I think such pain...shld not be endure thru.... haha coz it is an injury.... it would be best to see consult a doctor asap... and not leaving your poor ankle in pain... well like I did... so.... sigh... by the time I went to consult a doctor... my doctor said to me..... I had damage my ankle so badly that it could not recover well and would not recover fully.....so my left ankle is more prone to spraining.... haha what a crap you may think.... well of coz if you walk properly then it shld be alright... but.... hehe I have tendency to walk without looking..... faint.... haha my weakness but I would try to overcome it de....
anyway last friday I sprained my right ankle during BBQ....lucky thing my friend was there to send me home.... sigh if not think I cannot reach home early and need to drag my poor ankle back home....
so went to see doctor on sat morning... haha my doctor told me... your left ankle also injured!!! faint... that's means both of my ankles need to be wrapped!! then how!! my sis's bday on that day.... and we are celebrating for her.... haha juz go ahead haha what a funny thing...to walk super slowly like old grannies in their 100's hahaha.... and lucky even better... haha... I went to watch TRANSFORMERS!!!
haha but not too bad lah.... after which I went back home in 1 whole piece.... ^^ but right now suffered from sore pain from ankles... for walking too much
haha the best is to rest if you are need it and don't push it too hard and suffer in the future...
well this time round even better.... used to injured my left ankle when i was around 12.... it was my first time to suffer in pain yet I treated it as nothing... ar yet endured the pain.... I remembered what my parents said, what my teachers said before... if you can endure thru the pain... you could endure thru your life....
er well.... it is true to certain extend... but I think such pain...shld not be endure thru.... haha coz it is an injury.... it would be best to see consult a doctor asap... and not leaving your poor ankle in pain... well like I did... so.... sigh... by the time I went to consult a doctor... my doctor said to me..... I had damage my ankle so badly that it could not recover well and would not recover fully.....so my left ankle is more prone to spraining.... haha what a crap you may think.... well of coz if you walk properly then it shld be alright... but.... hehe I have tendency to walk without looking..... faint.... haha my weakness but I would try to overcome it de....
anyway last friday I sprained my right ankle during BBQ....lucky thing my friend was there to send me home.... sigh if not think I cannot reach home early and need to drag my poor ankle back home....
so went to see doctor on sat morning... haha my doctor told me... your left ankle also injured!!! faint... that's means both of my ankles need to be wrapped!! then how!! my sis's bday on that day.... and we are celebrating for her.... haha juz go ahead haha what a funny thing...to walk super slowly like old grannies in their 100's hahaha.... and lucky even better... haha... I went to watch TRANSFORMERS!!!
haha but not too bad lah.... after which I went back home in 1 whole piece.... ^^ but right now suffered from sore pain from ankles... for walking too much
haha the best is to rest if you are need it and don't push it too hard and suffer in the future...
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